Sunday, April 15, 2012

The Gift of Small

Funny how life goes, isn't it?  I post about getting stronger this past Thursday morning and I start a flare-up that afternoon.  The pain has been fierce so, of course, my sleep is getting poorer and poorer which, of course, makes the pain even more fierce.  I know this horrible cycle will stop at some point, but it may take a week to several weeks or so.  As for now, I'm thankful for the new medication I'm on.  I'm living from one pill to the next and trying to do a bit of bear work, as well, to keep my spirits up.

I'm trying not to feel sorry for myself--I have so many uncountable blessings.  It's hard sometimes, though.  I've been reminded lately how "big" some people's lives are.  One gift I've learned through the many years of this is to savor the little daily gifts we all receive and to not take them for advantage.  To love the "small."

from the Graphics Fairy

My grandmother always told me, "Good things come in small packages."  I know she was referring to me as I was a small child compared to others.  Perhaps this is why I have always loved the "little."  A beautiful flower in the center of the table.  Lovely colors in a prism.  A silly metal pig with wings.  An old doll, cracked with age and love.  And, of course, one of the most beautiful gifts, the smile of a loved one.  Watching the joy in their face.

My grandmother's life became much more contracted than mine currently is, and with luck, more than mine will ever be.  She spent her last years confined to a bed, unable to walk.  I was a young adult at that time, still foolish enough to think that one can plan one's life.  Her face still radiated joy, especially from the little things.  Sometimes I'm afraid that I am walking down her same path and it brings tears to my eyes.  Yes, we seem to share the same disease, but I have to remind myself that, unlike she, I have a diagnosis and researchers are discovering more and better ways to treat it.

So, I'm thankful.  Granted, right now as the pain breaks through all of the medications I'm taking it is harder to see all of the little gifts before me.  But I do.  It's become a habit.  A lovely habit to notice all that is around me and to be grateful.  I find that I say little prayers of gratitude throughout the entire day.  Of course, it is easier on the "good" days.  However, even on tough days like these, I say them without a second thought.  I may not be able to get out of the house to feel the sunshine, the wind may be too sharp for my bones, but I notice how it glimmers on the polished wood floor.  I'm thankful for the comfortable couch and for the swirls of color in the rug.  I'm thankful for the gifts of heated blankets and red lap quilts.  I'm thankful for the gift of walking and I rarely, if ever, forget to be thankful each time I can exercise my body.

And I never forget to be thankful for the loved ones that surround me and support me on my dark days and all the bright ones, as well.  Indeed, I treasure them more than they may ever know.  I know my days are numbered with them, so I'm thankful for each additional day I'm given the gift of their presence.  I'm not being morbid.  It's just the way of it.  I think perhaps it's easier to be grateful for each petal on a flower when one knows that it won't last.  I don't feel bad for myself because my life is restricted and not "big."  No, it is completely a blessing when one looks at it the right way.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

A True Scientific Fact

I'm thankful that this new medication continues to help me get stronger each day.  Of course, I'm not running any marathons, but I'm pleased that I can at least walk our super-de-dooper Wegmans grocery store. 

So, the thing is, I am getting stronger, but I'm still not getting much more bear-making done.  And I NEED to get some more bear-making done with store orders and TBAI (Teddy Bear Artist Invitational--it's a lovely bear show in August) looming in the near future. 

Why is this?  I think I've finally discovered the truth--maybe it's even a scientific "true-ism."  As one gets more energy, one has more errands, appointments, and home-keeping tasks. I'm SURE that they are absolutely positively related, in the truest scientific sense of the word. 

So how can one get out of this terrible situation?  I'm not sure, but I've decided that my only way out is to make "appointments" for bear-making in my date book.  I'd love to hear if you have any better ideas.  I'll keep you posted if it works.

Heaps of Hugs,

Monday, April 9, 2012

The Easter Bing!

We had a lovely Easter--I hope you did also (if you celebrate it).  Even Bingley got excited by all of the celebrating.  

He especially liked the Carrot Hunt that BalletGirl set up for him.  Quite the thing!  I'm not, however, sure how much he enjoyed the rabbit ears that BalletGirl thought he should wear. 

As for us, we all enjoyed the carrot cake BalletGirl made for us (gluten-free, of course).  As you will remember, she is also known as our cookie-baker elf.  All of her goodies turn out so delicious.  We purposely put half of the cake in the freezer last night so that we couldn't devour it within days!

Heaps of Hugs,